Breakthrough hailed as India’s hottest scientific contribution yet.
Researchers at the Indian Institute of Mad Heat Sciences have unveiled a revolutionary coffee that defies physicsit never cools. As reported by The New Indian Express, the beverage uses nano-insulated molecules derived from the sweat of programmers working in Chennai’s heat.
We realized our bodies were already heat-resistant, said lead researcher Dr. Priya Natarajan. So why not make the coffee match our suffering? The drink maintains a constant 95°C, regardless of environment, time, or prayer.
Critics say it’s unsafe, but test subjects report only mild third-degree enlightenment. One intern claimed to have seen Lord Vishnu in the steam.
Cafes across India are racing to adopt the technology. Baristas are thrilled that customers now take two hours to sip, doubling tips. Scientists are working on a sequelice cream that never melts and feels guilt when eaten.
Experts say this may finally end India’s greatest debate: should filter coffee be drunk immediately or worshipped?
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (Radhika Vaz)

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