by Viewers wonder if test cricket is actually just meditation in disguise
The second Test match between India and South Africa entered its second day with all the urgency of a government office on a Friday afternoon, as players engaged in the timeless tradition of hitting a ball, running, and then standing around for extended periods contemplating life’s bigger questions. For those unfamiliar with Test cricket, imagine watching paint dry, except the paint occasionally moves and everyone is very excited about it.
South African batsmen demonstrated impressive staying power, frustrating Indian bowlers with the kind of stubborn resistance usually reserved for toddlers refusing to eat vegetables. The unbroken partnership had Indian fans across the nation performing various forms of stress relief, from meditation to the considerably less zen activity of yelling at television screens.
Indian captain, displaying the patience of a saint and the strategy of a chess grandmaster, rotated his bowlers with the careful deliberation of someone trying to remember if they locked the front door. Each bowling change was analyzed by commentators with the kind of deep insight that makes you wonder if they’re watching the same match or consulting ancient cricket scrolls from a forgotten era.
The South African batsmen, meanwhile, played with the defensive solidity of someone protecting the last samosa at a wedding reception. Every boundary was celebrated as if they’d just discovered electricity, while defensive shots were applauded like profound philosophical statements. “Yes, that’s another dot ball,” the commentators would intone reverently, as if witnessing something sacred rather than a batsman simply missing the ball.
The score progressed at a pace that made glaciers look hasty. Statisticians on social media began calculating that at the current run rate, the match would conclude sometime around the next World Cup. Cricket purists, however, insisted this was “proper Test cricket,” which is code for “I enjoy watching things happen very slowly and I’m not ashamed to admit it.”
Indian bowlers toiled under the sun with the dedication of telemarketers on commission, trying every trick in the bookand possibly a few from books that have nothing to do with cricket. Spinners turned the ball, seamers seamed, and everyone looked very professional while the scoreboard moved at speeds that would embarrass a sundial.
The most exciting moment came when a ball went to the boundary, causing commentators to temporarily abandon their measured tones and express something resembling human emotion. “That’s FOUR!” they exclaimed, as if announcing a major geopolitical development rather than a ball crossing a rope.
Fans on both sides took to social media to express their feelings, which ranged from “this is the most strategic Test cricket I’ve ever seen” to “I’ve binge-watched three Netflix series during this partnership.” The match continues to unfold with all the predictable unpredictability that makes Test cricket either the most sophisticated sport on Earth or the most elaborate excuse to spend five days outdoors, depending on your perspective.
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/article/cricket-india-south-africa-dee42051ff9b78fdb676a8df5d77f216
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (https://apnews.com/article/cricket-india-south-africa-dee42051ff9b78fdb676a8df5d77f216)
