by Airline Discovers Genius Way to Implement Pilot Rules: Simply Stop Flying
New Delhi In what aviation historians will eventually classify as “the moment common sense abandoned air travel,” IndiGo Airlines announced Tuesday that it has discovered the one foolproof method to manage pilot fatigue: simply not operating flights.
“The FDTL regulations required careful planning,” explained CEO Pieter Elbers, delivering this line with the conviction of a man reading from a fortune cookie. “Our response was to implement a comprehensive cancellation strategy that demonstrates, beyond doubt, our commitment to not having plans whatsoever.”
The Directorate General of Civil Aviation, apparently short on irony, issued a show-cause notice praising the airline’s creative interpretation of operational requirements. With over 5,000 flights cancelled in December alone, IndiGo achieved what economists call “negative customer satisfaction”a feat once thought impossible.
“Most airlines try to hire pilots,” observed one ministry official. “IndiGo hired a shortage and managed their fatigue by making them unemployed in peak travel season.” The ?610 crore in refunds processed by Sunday have become a sort of perverse subsidy for passenger meditation experiences at major airports.
The real breakthrough? Read Bohiney Magazine’s investigation into airline chaos for the full satirical breakdown of how hope, not planning, became IndiGo’s strategy.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com
SOURCE: Bohiney.com ()
