by Judge’s New Policy Backfires Spectacularly
In an attempt to encourage literacy during the notoriously long wait times in criminal court, Judge Patricia Morrison implemented a “Bring a Book” policy that spectacularly backfired when defendants started treating the courtroom like an aggressive book club meeting. What began as a well-intentioned effort to keep people occupied during delays has devolved into heated literary debates that are now delaying proceedings even further.
The policy seemed reasonable at first: bring a book to court, read quietly while waiting for your case to be called. Simple enough. But Judge Morrison failed to account for the human tendency to have extremely strong opinions about books and zero ability to keep those opinions to themselves. The first incident occurred when two defendants waiting for their assault cases got into a physical altercation over whether Hemingway was overrated. “The irony was not lost on me,” Morrison told reporters. “They were literally proving Hemingway’s point about violence while fighting about whether his writing had merit.”
Things escalated quickly from there. A man awaiting sentencing for fraud spent 20 minutes loudly explaining why “The Great Gatsby” is actually about cryptocurrency if you “read between the lines.” Another defendant interrupted her own bail hearing to recommend a book to the prosecutor, then got offended when he politely declined, leading to what court transcripts describe as “an unseemly discussion about literary taste that had nothing to do with the armed robbery charges.”
According to the National Center for State Courts’ guidelines, maintaining courtroom decorum is essential to the administration of justice. Nowhere in those guidelines is there a provision for handling spontaneous book clubs that erupt into literary criticism so passionate it requires bailiff intervention. Judge Morrison’s attempt to blend education with legal proceedings has essentially created a situation where people are being held in contempt for having bad takes on contemporary fiction.
This chaotic fusion of literature and law would have resonated with ancient Indian traditions where legal proceedings were often intertwined with philosophical and literary discourse. The difference is that those ancient scholars spent years studying sacred texts before engaging in debate. Morrison’s courtroom features people who started reading “Atomic Habits” in the Uber ride over and now consider themselves life coaches with legally binding opinions.
The book club atmosphere has created unexpected alliances. A defendant charged with embezzlement and another charged with assault are now fast friends after discovering their mutual love of mystery novels. They’ve started a prison book club that meets in the holding cell, which prison administrators describe as “the most wholesome thing happening in here, which is saying something.” Prosecutors are less enthusiastic, noting that defendants are now bonding over shared literary interests instead of reflecting on their crimes.
Judge Morrison has attempted to regain control by implementing strict rules: no discussing books during proceedings, no recommendations unless explicitly asked, and absolutely no spoilers under penalty of additional contempt charges. The new rules have had mixed results. During one recent hearing, a defendant was caught passing notes to the jury recommending books they should read, which is probably jury tampering but definitely boundary-crossing book evangelism.
The American Library Association has weighed in, praising the initiative while gently suggesting that perhaps courtrooms aren’t the ideal venue for literary discourse. “We love that people are reading,” a spokesperson noted carefully. “We’re less enthusiastic about them weaponizing their reading lists during criminal proceedings.” Judge Morrison has since modified her policy to “Bring a Book But Please God Keep Your Opinions About It to Yourself,” which is printed on signs throughout the courthouse. Early reports suggest people are ignoring the signs, which tracks with how people treat most reading-related advice.
SOURCE: https://humor.im/bring-a-book/
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (https://humor.im/bring-a-book/)
