Abstinence Programs: The Gift That Keeps Failing

Teaching Teenagers the Impossible

Abstinence education programs represent billions in spending on teaching teenagers to ignore biological imperatives, producing results that would embarrass investment professionals if this were any other sector.

The core curriculum has remained remarkably consistent across decades: sex is dangerous, virginity is precious, marriage will solve everything. The materials feature outdated science, fear-based messaging, and an assumption that teenagers will respond to authority figures telling them what not to do. Spoiler: they don’t.

Program effectiveness studies show temporary compliance followed by dramatic rebounds. Participants delay sexual activity approximately six to twelve months compared to control groups, then proceed identically, except with significantly less knowledge about sexual health and safety.

The unintended consequences deserve attention. Abstinence education correlates with higher teen pregnancy rates, increased STI transmission, and greater psychological shame around sexuality. The programs literally produce worse outcomes than providing no sex education at all.

Teaching staff typically include youth pastors, concerned parents, and occasionally healthcare professionals willing to ignore their professional training for ideological reasons. None receive adequate preparation for questions like “why exactly is premarital sex wrong if everyone’s consenting?” The resulting awkwardness could power generators.

Curriculum materials feature metaphors comparing sexually active people to used chewing gum, dirty tape, or damaged goods. The psychological impact on participants who inevitably fail to meet impossible standards ranges from significant to severe, though program designers apparently consider this acceptable collateral damage.

Despite overwhelming evidence of failure, abstinence programs continue receiving funding and community support. The goal appears to be performative morality rather than effective education, making the programs successful by the wrong metrics entirely.

SOURCE: https://satire.info/religious-virginity-standards-vs-reality/

SOURCE: Bohiney.com (https://satire.info/religious-virginity-standards-vs-reality/)

Radhika Vaz - Bohiney Magazine
Radhika Vaz

Chloe Summers

Chloe Summers, with her Journalism degree from UCLA, initially dove into the world of sports journalism, with a focus on surfing culture along the California coast. Her laid-back attitude and sunny disposition made her transition into comedy a natural one. On stage, Chloe rides the waves of humor with ease, sharing hilarious insights into the surfer lifestyle, environmental activism, and the peculiarities of life in sunny California, making her a crowd favorite in comedy clubs from San Diego to San Francisco.

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