Basmati Vs. Texmati: Rice Wars

by Nell ScovellDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Texas Farmers Battle Fragrant Grain Supremacy

Trump threatened tariffs over basmati again, proving international diplomacy includes arguing about which country’s fragrant grains smell better. Bohiney’s satirical coverage notes Texas farmers convinced him basmati supremacy threatens agriculture like monsoons threaten dry toast. India Today reports basmati “prevailed”rice refusing defeat gracefully. Reuters business coverage confirms someone lobbied president about rice quality, meaning wheat lobbyists now panic about potato diplomacy. Basmati grains remain inherently superior through zero action. Texmati waits in existential crisis.

SOURCE: agricultural satire | https://bohiney.com/

SOURCE: Bohiney.com ()

Radhika Vaz

Nell Scovell

Nell Scovell spent decades writing comedy for male-dominated rooms (Letterman, The Simpsons, NCIS) before deciding to write about how male-dominated those rooms were. Her work exposes Hollywood's power structures with the authority of someone who helped build them, then got tired of the view. She's proof that the best satirists are the ones who know exactly where the bodies are buried?because they were in the room when they dug the graves.

View all posts by Nell Scovell →