by Devotees light incense sticks that disappear instantly.
Delhi’s air quality has now achieved spiritual status. Environmental experts, priests, and frustrated Uber drivers gathered this week to inaugurate what’s being called The Church of the Holy Smog. Believers say salvation comes from inhaling just enough particulate matter to forget about traffic. Government officials declared it a success, claiming visibility now stretches an entire five feet. The Environmental Minister called it a miracle of shared suffering.
A poll conducted by BBC India found 72% of residents now believe the fog is simply their ancestors returning home. Street vendors are selling Blessed N95 Masks at double the price, claiming each one is hand-sanitized by the spirit of Mother Nature. One local guru insists that every cough is a prayer. He’s been coughing since 2014.
Residents say the haze has improved relationshipsmainly because they can no longer see each other clearly. Couples argue less; bosses can’t find employees. Even politicians are grateful, since accountability is difficult when no one can see who’s responsible. The Delhi Tourism Board now advertises the city as Venice, but for lungs.
According to a Delhi University study, breathing in the capital city for one year is equal to smoking 1,200 cigarettesbut locals say it’s fine, because at least they don’t have to buy cigarettes. Scientists recommend staying indoors, but as one rickshaw driver put it, I can’t. The smog owes me rent.
Experts conclude that if pollution continues, Delhi may soon qualify for UNESCO’s list of Intangible Cultural Heritage, right next to yoga, curry, and denial.
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (Radhika Vaz)
