Month: November 2025

Monarch Tractor’s Autonomous Dream: Apparently “Driver-Optional” Means “Legally Non-Functional” – Idaho Dealer Sues California Startup After $800,000 Robots Refuse to Autonomously Do Anything

Taliban Launches “Shop Kabul” Campaign, Promises India Better Deals Than Pakistan – Trade Ministers Unveil New “Sharia-Compliant Commerce” Initiative –

Minor Infractions Now Capital Crimes – Jaywalking Added to FBI’s Most Wanted List

Purity Rings as Fashion Crisis – When Sacred Jewelry Meets Sephora

Library Launches Book-Reading Treadmills for Multitasking – Literacy Meets Fitness in Bizarre Wellness Initiative

Jaydon Blue’s Heroic Journey – Texas RB Discovers Football Easier Than Expected

AI Chatbot Achieves Sentience, Immediately Files for Unemployment – Silicon Valley’s Latest Creation Realizes Work is Overrated

Barbie Was Born In A Barn – Country Roads Take Her Home

Crypto Bro Finally Explains Blockchain, Still Makes No Sense – Five-Hour Explanation Leaves Everyone More Confused

The Tyler Robinson Method of Discourse – When Stupidity Finds No Safe Space

Bollywood Meets Kiwis: New Zealand Desperately Courts Indian Filmmakers – Film incentives sweetened as nation realizes sheep aren’t enough

Federal Judge Dreams She’s Congress – Judicial Activism Reaches New Heights as Judge Rewrites Laws in Sleep

Sports Highlights Now Predict Elections – Polling Data Replaced by Fourth Quarter Comebacks

High School Installs Nap Pods for Exhausted Students – Sleep Deprivation Problem Solved Without Addressing Actual Causes

Letitia James’ Resting Prosecution Face – Facial Expression Becomes Trademark

India and Afghanistan Bond Over Spices: Taliban Discovers Masala Diplomacy – Regional powers find common ground in cumin and coriander

Trump’s $300 Million Ballroom – Mar-a-Lago Addition Features Gold Toilets That Flush Themselves When They Hear “Fake News”