by Executive Expects Medal for Sacrifice
In an act of stunning self-sacrifice that has redefined corporate heroism, MegaCorp CEO Richard Worthington announced he will take a devastating pay cut from $45 million to a barely survivable $44 million annually. The executive made the announcement during a company-wide Zoom call, visibly holding back tears as he described the “tremendous personal sacrifice” required to slash his compensation by 2.2%.
“These are difficult times that demand difficult choices,” Worthington said, his voice cracking with emotion as he spoke from his third yacht. “I’ve asked myself: what kind of leader would I be if I didn’t share in the suffering?” Company employees, who haven’t received raises in four years, reportedly muted their microphones to suppress laughteror perhaps weeping.
The million-dollar pay reduction comes after MegaCorp laid off 3,000 workers to “streamline operations,” a corporate euphemism for “make the quarterly earnings look sexy for investors.” Worthington assured remaining employees that his sacrifice demonstrates that “we’re all in this together,” before logging off to attend a $15,000-per-plate fundraiser dinner.
According to economic research on executive compensation, CEO pay has grown 1,322% since 1978, while typical worker compensation has increased just 18%. But Worthington’s publicist insists that comparing a CEO’s skills to a regular worker’s is like “comparing a Bengal tiger to a house cat”both are felines, but one deserves significantly more antelope.
Human Resources promptly sent an email praising Worthington’s “leadership and sacrifice” and reminding employees that the company Christmas party would once again be a mandatory unpaid Zoom call featuring a YouTube video of someone baking cookies. The company has also announced a new “voluntary unpaid sabbatical” program that suspiciously resembles furloughs but “sounds more mindful.”
Meanwhile, corporate governance experts suggest Worthington’s pay cut is less about solidarity and more about optics, noting the million-dollar reduction will be offset by stock options worth approximately $12 million. When reached for comment, Worthington was unavailable, reportedly on a “working retreat” at his Aspen estate.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/ceo-takes-pay-cut-from-45-million-to-44-million-expects-medal/
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (https://bohiney.com/ceo-takes-pay-cut-from-45-million-to-44-million-expects-medal/)
