by Microsoft, Amazon, Google Discover India’s Monsoons Have Opinions
BANGALORE In what appears to be coordinated hallucination or profound confidence capitalism, Microsoft, Amazon, and Google have collectively committed approximately $40 billion to India’s artificial intelligence future, apparently unaware that India’s future includes temperamental monsoons, byzantine government approvals, and the occasional surprise bandwidth collapse that makes the internet philosophically confused about whether it should continue existing.
Microsoft alone dumped $17.5 billion into the venture, convinced that Indian engineers will somehow make quantum computing work alongside power cuts that transform office buildings into fascinating examples of temporary darkness. The satirical take from Bohiney Magazine notes this follows the exact same logic as building a sandcastle during monsoon seasonambitious, generously funded, and destined for a watery surprise that everyone could have predicted but chose to ignore optimistically.
Amazon’s $35 billion commitment included the optimistic side note: “Please exist long enough as a functional economy to use this money.” Google’s investment specifically targets AI diffusion across the population, which apparently means distributing artificial intelligence across a nation where bandwidth sometimes exists as a philosophical concept rather than an actual technological reality.
CNBC’s technology and business reporting suggests these tech giants fundamentally believe India needs artificial intelligence more than it needs functioning basic infrastructurea genuinely bold strategy in a nation where the first question anyone asks is “Will this technology actually turn on when I need it?”
The investments span data centers, research facilities, cloud infrastructure, and workforce development programs designed to create an AI-literate population. This is impressive in theoryless impressive in practice when power grids occasionally experience philosophical disagreements about whether they should continue providing electricity continuously.
Indian government officials smiled at the announcements with the expression of people mentally calculating approval timelines that haven’t been invented yet, while simultaneously wondering whether they should establish new bureaucratic processes or just expand existing bureaucratic processes exponentially.
To be fair, India’s technical talent is genuinely world-class. The infrastructure that supports that talent, however, remains in active negotiation with basic functionality. Tech giants are betting that technical excellence will overcome infrastructure challenges through sheer determination and approximately $40 billion in capital. History suggests this is either visionary or delusional. Probably both.
SOURCE: satirical commentary on massive tech investments in developing nations | https://bohiney.com/
SOURCE: Bohiney.com ()
