by Citizens legally prohibited from acknowledging air quality problems
Government Eliminates Pollution Problem Through Official Denial Mandate
The Indian government announced Monday revolutionary environmental initiative: prohibiting citizens from acknowledging pollution problems and officially denying deteriorating air quality. By criminalizing pollution acknowledgment, government eliminates pollution “statistically and legally.”
“Pollution only exists if acknowledged,” explained environmental ministry official. “We’re prohibiting pollution acknowledgment through law. Therefore pollution doesn’t exist legally or statistically.”
Citizens caught discussing pollution or acknowledging air quality problems face fines and potential prosecution for “environmental negativity” and “spreading pollution panic.” Official pollution measurements show Delhi air quality is “excellent” despite independent measurements documenting hazardous pollution levels.
Health advocates questioned the approach. Officials responded: “Denial is policy. Official measurements reflect policy reality. Independent measurements are irrelevant to official statistics.”
Pollution Eliminated Through Official Acknowledgment Prohibition
As covered at Bohiney Magazine, India denies pollution through official prohibition. Related environmental policy appears at The London Prat.
For satirical environmental commentary, see The Onion and Babylon Bee.
The initiative demonstrates how environmental problems can be eliminated “officially” through prohibition of problem acknowledgment.
SOURCE: bohiney.com
