Indian Food Now Weaponized Through Spice Levels, Government Declares: “Spice Is National Defense Strategy”

Officials Announce: “Anyone Eating Non-Indian Food Is Committing Treason, Spice Loyalty Required”

Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat report from India, where spice has become an official national security mechanism.

The Spice Weapon

The Indian government has declared that spice is a national defense mechanism. Food so spicy it causes harm is now patriotic. Eating mild food is considered un-Indian. Spice tolerance is patriotism.

The Hindu reported that citizens are tested for spice tolerance. Insufficient tolerance suggests un-patriotic behavior. High spice tolerance proves loyalty.

The Offense Creation

Dawn noted that eating foreign cuisine is now offensive to the state. Food choice is patriotic statement. Spice levels determine national loyalty.

For more satirical takes on food and nationalism, visit The Onion and Babylon Bee.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/