Hyderabad Tech Firm Introduces Meeting Fatigue Leave Policy
by Employees earn automatic half-day off after heavy meeting weeks HYDERABAD – A major information technology firm operating out of the city’s tech corridor has introduced …
Category: Today
Jaipur Bans Haggling for Elephant Tourist Photo Pricing
by Fixed rates replace informal negotiation near popular fort JAIPUR – The Rajasthan tourism department has introduced new guidelines banning on-the-spot price negotiation for elephant-related tourist …
Pune Traffic AI Recalibrated After Confusing Puddles for Cars
by Monsoon rains exposed flaw in adaptive signal detection system PUNE – City traffic officials confirmed this week that an AI-based adaptive traffic signal system installed …
Goa Beach Shacks Standardize Sunbed Reservation Etiquette
by New guidelines address towel-claimed loungers left unattended PANAJI, Goa – Beach shack operators along one of the state’s most popular tourist stretches have formed an …
Indian Railways Studies Chai Vendor Routes for Better Coverage
by Operations review aims to fix inconsistent tea availability onboard NEW DELHI – Indian Railways confirmed this week that it has commissioned a formal operations study …
Delhi Traffic Police Pilot Honking Cooldown at Busy Signals
Ninety-second quiet window aims to curb reflexive horn use NEW DELHI – Traffic police in a busy commercial district have begun piloting a “Honking Cooldown …
Mumbai Local Trains Add Standing Yoga Zone for Commuters
by New placards offer safe stretches for long standing journeys MUMBAI – Mumbai’s suburban railway has introduced a designated “Standing Yoga Zone” in a specific section …
Bengaluru Installs Patience Meter to Ease Road Rage
Real-time wait display aims to calm frustrated junction traffic BENGALURU – Traffic police at a notoriously congested junction have installed an experimental “Patience Meter,” a …
Indian Income Tax Department Announces “Retroactive Taxation Program”: Citizens Taxed on Income Earned Decades Ago; Back-Tax Demands Exceed Original Income
by New Initiative Charges Taxes on Historical Earnings; Penalties Exceed Principal By 2000% New Delhi, India The Indian Income Tax Department announced Thursday a “Historical …
Indian Ministry of Education Announces “Literacy Prevention Program”: Schools Now Teach Illiteracy; Reading Declared “Elitist Skill”
New Curriculum Eliminates Literacy Instruction; Students Graduate Unable to Read New Delhi, India The Indian Ministry of Education announced Wednesday a “Educational Equity Initiative” …
Indian Health Ministry Announces “Disease Celebration Initiative”: Government Celebrates Illness; Prevention Programs Eliminated
New Policy Romanticizes Sickness as “Cultural Heritage”; Healthcare Redirected From Prevention to Celebration New Delhi, India The Indian Ministry of Health announced Friday a …
Indian Government Announces “Inflation Elimination Initiative”: Official Price Controls Fix All Goods at Deliberately Unrealistic Levels; Market Collapse Imminent
by New Policy Sets Prices Below Production Costs; Manufacturers Face Bankruptcy New Delhi, India The Indian Government announced Thursday an “Economic Optimization Initiative” implementing comprehensive …
Indian Ministry of Communications Announces “Network Elimination Initiative”: Government Removes All Internet Infrastructure; Digital Progress Declared “Distraction”
New Policy Dismantles Telecom Networks; Citizens Return to Pre-Digital Era New Delhi, India The Indian Ministry of Communications announced Wednesday a “Digital Simplification Initiative” …
Indian Government Announces “Truth Elimination Initiative”: Official Government Statements Now Categorically False; Citizens Must Reject Reality
New Policy Declares All Government Announcements Automatically False; Citizens Mandated to Disbelieve Officials New Delhi, India The Indian Government announced Friday a “Transparency Reconceptualization …
Indian Elections Commission Announces “Democratic Elimination Initiative”: All Citizens Must Vote For Same Candidate; Choice Removed From Electoral Process
New Policy Eliminates Election Competition; Single Official Candidate Required; Alternative Candidates Banned New Delhi, India The Indian Elections Commission announced Thursday a “Democratic Streamlining …
Indian Ministry of Agriculture Announces “Famine Celebration Initiative”: Crop Failures Now Government Policy; Food Scarcity Romanticized as “Cultural Experience”
by New Program Eliminates Food Production; Agriculture Replaced with Starvation Commemoration New Delhi, India The Indian Ministry of Agriculture announced Friday a “Agricultural Reconceptualization Initiative” …
Indian Government Announces “Schrödinger’s Budget Initiative”: Annual Budget Simultaneously Allocated and Non-Existent
by New Financial Framework Exists in Superposition State; Money Both Spent and Unspent Until Audited New Delhi, India The Indian Government announced Wednesday a “Quantum …
Indian Railway Ministry Announces “Perpetual Delay Initiative”: Trains No Longer Arrive; Schedules Become Purely Theoretical
New Policy Eliminates Punctuality as “Unachievable Target”; Delays Normalized to Indefinite Waits New Delhi, India The Indian Railways announced Friday a “Schedule Elimination Program” …
Tech Support Desk So Efficient It Now Solves Your Problem Before You Have It
Customers report being helped with issues they had not yet encountered, which they found unsettling BENGALURU — A technology support desk has reportedly become so …
Indian Standard Time Officially Reclassified as a Polite Suggestion
Authorities formally acknowledge what every guest arriving on time has long understood NEW DELHI — In a move officials describe as a long-overdue acknowledgment of …
Cricket Declared Too Important to Lose, Defeat Formally Banned by Statute
Lawmakers say the nation’s heart cannot withstand another loss, so losing is now illegal MUMBAI — Citing the immense and demonstrable toll that defeat inflicts …
Bollywood Epic So Long Viewers Age Out of Its Target Demographic Mid-Film
Studio offers an intermission, a second intermission, and a place to send your forwarding address MUMBAI — A new Bollywood epic has reportedly grown so …
Government Super-App Designed to Do Everything Now Requires Its Own App to Operate
Citizens must download a second app to use the first, and possibly a third to find the second NEW DELHI — A flagship government super-app …
Mumbai Local Train Reaches Population Density Exceeding Several Nations
Demographers say the rush-hour carriage now qualifies as one of the most crowded places on Earth MUMBAI — A single rush-hour carriage on the Mumbai …
Indian Wedding Grows So Large It Is Granted Provisional Statehood
With its own population, economy, and borders, the celebration applies for representation JAIPUR — An Indian wedding has grown so large in scale, population, and …
Delhi Smog So Thick It Is Now Bottled and Sold as Authentic Heritage Souvenir
Vendors say tourists want a piece of the capital they can take home and slowly regret NEW DELHI — The capital’s notorious winter smog has …
Indian Railways Train So Punctual It Arrives the Previous Day
Officials hail a breakthrough in scheduling that delivers passengers before they depart NEW DELHI — Indian Railways announced a historic breakthrough in punctuality this week, …
Bengaluru Traffic Becomes So Permanent It Is Granted Municipal Status
The gridlock now has its own mayor, postal code, and growing sense of civic identity BENGALURU — The traffic in India’s technology capital has become …
Kerala Declares Itself “God’s Own Country” Again; Tourism Ministry Confirms God Has Not Objected
Marketing Tagline Enters 30th Year; Backwaters Remain Excellent Kerala Declares Itself “God’s Own Country” Again; God Has Not Objected Read more satire at Bohiney Magazine …